Our Princess is Turning 1

Dear Rhowan,

I want you to know just how much you are loved, however there aren't enough words, actions, thoughts or things to show or say just how much that is. You are truly a blessing in our lives as well as our families. You have brought together so many memories for me and your daddy that I can't put into words just how happy you make us.

It was one year ago tonight that I was sitting in the hospital room, going through the motions of being induced and wondering just how long the process would be for me to finally get to meet you. I had a flood of emotions going through my mind awaiting for you to arrive. You were a dream come true, a reality finally coming into our lives that we would be a family and parents.

Once you were born it was instant that I knew God put me on this Earth to be a mommy. There is no other feeling in this world that can describe my love for you. I still remember day by day from the moment we were in the hospital together to coming home. I can never thank you enough for all the joy you have brought into my life and all the lessons you have already taught me as a mommy and person. I am still learning and always will be. I am learning there is no perfection on mommy hood, just love, laughter and life. I cherish every moment we have together to play, read, rock you, snuggle with you (yes, you are still in mommy and daddy's bed), walk with you, teach you words, etc. You have grown up so fast and this year has truly gotten away from me. My eyes are filled with tears of joy as I can not wait for the years to come, yes, even the puberty years of hell that will arise with attitudes and all! LOL.

Thank you Rhowan for being an angel sent from above, mine and daddy's biggest blessing and lesson to life that you only live once, so love and cherish one another and family is always your core, your rock and where it all began. Happy 1st Birthday Princess!!! (Mommy can't wait for your big party this weekend!) :)

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

1 Year Pictures

Constant battle...to work, not to work. Career Mom vs. Stay at Home Mommy????

So, I did it...I got an interview and landed a full time job, starting Monday morning. I went into it, not sure what I wanted from it and extremely torn. I've loved the time off I've had with Rhowan and the freedom of time, being home with Rhowan, doing what we want, when we want, etc. I have really learned the balance of being a stay at home mommy and keeping my sanity, thanks to daycare twice a week. I have listened to everyone say, "Take advantage of this time, you will never get it back with Rhowan." I feel I have done that and I'm not ready to stop doing that, however, it's time for me to contribute financially to give us more financial stability and freedom. I went into the interview with the attitude, literally making it very clear, that I would NOT work just to pay daycare. That is half the reason I am not subbing. The work isn't consistent enough to make enough to make it worth it with daycare.

Now, I am not saying I am walking away from teaching. As I stated in my interview when asked if this was long term for me, as that is what they are looking for and am I leaving teaching. I do not know where I will be in my life when the education system turns itself around. I can't keep putting things on hold waiting for that opportunity to teach. It is still my passion and if I meant to be in the classroom, God will make it happen. Just as he has with everything else in our lives the past two years with things "falling" into place the way they are meant to be. I am up for the challenge of a new career path. I do not want a job, I want to enjoy what I do every day and like going to work if I am leaving my daughter for it. With this new job, as an admin asst. for Goldsmith Co. (TJ worked for them for the past four years, they are big boosters of LB State and took very good care of him.) it is flexible, casual, and a family owned business that cares about their employees. If I am going to work, that is the job and environment I'd choose.

I accepted the job, as they loved me after the interview, duh, who wouldn't! j/k...now I am not business savvy, but I am fresh eyes and mind ready to learn and be a sponge. I am a fast learner and can take on the task.

With that being said, it was a very hard decision...I was extremely stressed and torn. I was worried about putting Rhowan in full time day care, half day Fridays as we work only half days every Friday (huge plus!) :) I was also worried I haven't taken enough advantage of the time I've had with Rhowan and now its going to be gone. But it won't be gone. We will have weekends and Friday afternoons. I will miss her incredibly to where it will pain me, but I think I am doing the right thing for me and our family. After much debate and advice from friends and Rhowan's day care care giver, I was re assured that Rhowan would be great, it will be harder on me, she loves it there and parents all over the country do this and the extra money will be good for us.

I accepted and wanted to start after this coming up week, with Rhowan turning one we have lots of appts. However, they want me now and will totally work around all the appts. So I gave them the appt schedule up front and will work a few half days and will start this Monday. Wow, its all happening so fast. I am nervous, yet excited. Sad, yet re assured that Rhowan will be fine. Stressed, yet relieved that we will have more money to build a cushion (hopefully, the more you make the more you spend as we all know too well.) So, I am going with it. I am taking this as God's plan because it all just un folded so quickly. I feel good I was open, honest and communicated my struggles and hesitations with them and as they told me, "at the end of the day, Family comes first." That is all I needed to hear. Let's hope this is a positive move and I am able to balance motherhood, baseball widow, working full time with daddy's crazy schedule, etc. I pray for easy transitions and all turns out well. Please send your prayers my way for this as well.

With that being said, Rhowan's 1st Bday is almost here, so stay tuned for lots and lots of updates and pictures this upcoming week! :)

My baby girl is growing so fast. I could go on for days, but will wait! ;)

Well that pretty much sums up my last week and updates us here in the Bruce household. Mommy is going back to work, daddy is working like a horse, and Rhowan is doing fabulous, getting so big! We love you all.

xoxoxo

Full Moon????

So to say the least, this has been one hell of a week. I am not gonna lie, I am not gonna be that person that acts like everything is always peachy king and white picket fences. Those of you who know me, know me well and I tell it like it is. Whether it's wanted or not...I say the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad. Most people, who love me for this, I will call it open ness rather than bitchiness (haha), know to not come to me about things until they are ready to hear the truth, I can't be fake. It is not in my blood, I have NEVER been able to be fake or kill with kindness, which is a fault and a plus, I think. Anyway, back to the point. I tell it like it is, so here it is.

First my husband gets home late Sunday night from 3 nights in AZ recruiting, soooo extremely exhausted and back to work at 5:30 am the next morning. Well the rest of the week went like this. Home after 8:30 at night and up again at 5 ish back to work...I was as prepared for this with his new job as I possibly could be and always tease about being a baseball widow. However, it does get very hard, especially with Rhowan and I both getting over colds, me taking her back to the dr, up with her at night during her cough attacks, between my coughing and never getting that quality 5 minutes with my husband to say more than, "what are your plans for tomorrow?" It's hard, frustrating, but at the same time, I know he is exhausted too. But after two weeks of hardly seeing him except for in bed with our princess between us (Dr recommended crib training after she is back to 100 percent) and with the short kiss goodbye every morning at 5 something am it has taken its toll on me. I just want some quality time with my hubby to snuggle, feel loved, have a real life conversation about the plans for the upcoming weekends, Rhowan's bday, how our days have been. Something, anything. But I get the tired TJ, the I'm exhausted and going to bed. How can I argue that when he works his tail off? But I do cause I miss him too! Ahhhh, finding that balance, back to balance. It's always about the balance in life...sooooo hard!

Then I got a little excited, being today is October 1st and still no period from September. Hey, maybe I am preggo and our kids will be about 2 years apart, what I've always wanted. Then I took a pregnancy test, because I am obsessed with them, and it was a big fat NEGATIVE and I realized oh yeah, you have to actually see your husband and have SEX to get preggo! LOL. Sorry way too much info for some of you but when your husband works 15 plus hours a day what more can I say...I mean I am not complaining...yet, hopefully it doesn't take 2 years again to get preggo, but what is meant to be will be!

Then all this drama about the BIG one coming on Sept. 30th had me all in a frantic frenzy! I was googling, texting Ana my go to stresser and was just a HOT mess! Literally HOT mess!

Bringing me to my next topic...the HEAT in fall...yes, we didn't have much of a summer, however, I was pleased with the weather being we have NO a/c and live in an old lakewood home with no insulation and it is hotter in the house than outside. So we packed our bags and lived at TJ's parents for a week! Yep, on vacation in the a/c! It is like being on vaca with our own suite/bedroom upstairs with our own bathroom, king size bed, did I say a/c?! And even help with Rhowan so I can have a little break too, which helped the nights grandma and grandpa took Rhowan in bed with them so I can take medicine and get over my sore throat and aches! Then came back home thinking it was cooled off, and nope, not in our house, still freaking hot and back to middle of night cough attacks, steamed showers, full blast fans giving us all sore throats again. UGHHHH.

So, did I say this week sucked?! It's been a crazy week with other family things going on too with Grandpa's health. Grandpa Dave we love you, please get better soon so me and Rhowan can see you!

Oh and we had to go back to the DR for Rhowan because after two weeks passing from her conjunctivitis she developed a runny, green globby nose, a mucus cough, not eating much, etc. So back to the Dr and now she has an ear infection and is on antibiotics. Hopefully in the next 4 days the amoxicilin will kick in just as her dr said and then we can crib train and get ready to turn 1!

She is full on drinking out of her sippy cup now with the spill proof in there, she finally learned to suck from it. She is walking and running and loving every minute of it. She is copying everything I do and trying to repeat sounds I say. We sing, "clean up, clean up, everybody clean up" and put all our toys away and she actually helps, while smiling! Gotta keep that up!
She will give me things I ask for and know what I am talking about. She hands me books over and over to read and will touch and feel, flip the pages, point to things. She lines up the duckies with me in the bath and tries to say Ducky. She has a number and ABC mat that she plays with and sticks the letters in and out of their stencil type things. She can match them back in there and pat them in just by watching me do it once!

I know, I know, so many of you are probably like, what the heck are you complaining about when you don't work and all you have to do is take care of Rhowan all day. Well what I have to say to all of you is...you obviously have never been a stay at home mom! LOL.

There was my blogging/venting session for the week. But I ended on a positive update of our growing princess so there! LOL. :)

Hope you all have a great weekend and let's just hope we are all safe, prepared for disasters whenever they are meant to happen, thanking God for each day we are given and staying cool over the weekend. After all, when I hear other peoples week, I'd gladly take mine back...I am blessed and thankful!

hugs and kisses to all