Rhowan at 10 months...

Well believe it or not tomorrow will be September and our princess is 10 months old already. The day after she turned 10 months on Aug. 21st, it was a Saturday and me, Rhowan and daddy were sitting on the front lawn, in the shade on a blanket (the heat wave made the outside cooler than the inside) and we were just playing and talking. I love moments like these, the down time...with daddy home and just hanging out. Like I keep saying, it is quality not quantity! Daddy and I were going on a date night with some friends of ours (first night out in a looonng time) so we were just getting Rhowan ready to go to Oma and Papa's. Well, long and behold, our little princess stood up, which she has been doing for about 2-3 months now and took, a step, another step, and another one, and omg...mommies eyes welled up and there she went, 4 whole steps without holding on! I was crying and almost screaming at the same time...Daddy was soooo excited...no neither one of us got it on camera, we didn't want to miss it, we just sat in awe! She was so proud of herself.

Well there you have it...10 months old and her first steps. She hasn't done it again on her own yet, however, she is walking like crazy holding onto just one of our hands or using the furniture to get around. So it's just a matter of time that she is running from room of the house to another. She already crawls around, following me from one room to another on days I am trying to get housework done. She seems to not like to be in a room alone. Even though all her toys are there, she has toys in every room, and her toons will be on, but the second she notices you walk away, there you have it, a whiny Rhowan! LOL.

These past few weeks have been a bit hectic. She has become more clingy than ever, separation anxiety from mommy to the max, especially at night. So, here goes our confession...She sleeps with mommy and daddy most nights! Yep, you heard it right. I have totally gone against my word. I am sooooo upset about this. I had her on such a good and strict schedule...people gave me such a hard time about being flexible, not being so regimented, etc. So I let loose a little and wanted her to well adjust to changes with our crazy lives and schedules. Well once we got home from Alaska she would come in bed with mommy at 4 am for her bottle and back to sleep. Well she got really used that so it continued even after Daddy got home. Then we had the heat wave and she wouldn't even start in her crib, she would start her night off in our bed. So, there you have it, back to trying to crib train. Last night, after an hour and a half of sleeping, crib, 20 minutes later, wake up, sleep, crib, 20 minutes wake up...daddy finally caved and brought her in bed with him. This is the story of our lives for the past few weeks and it is NOT good. We have to break it and the only way will be ferber/crying it out method...which FREAKS me out just thinking about it. I get anxiety hearing her cry. I hate to even think about it. I read up on this stage of 10 months and it seems this is normal...separation anxiety, learning they are separate people from us, scared we won't come back, clingy, etc. Well Rhowan is just happy as a clam spooned between daddy and mommy...yes, its cute to see us all cuddling and mommy and daddy holding hands between our daughter, but after a few no good nights of sleep, NOT so cute anymore! ;) Mommy and daddy need their bed back!

Oh, what to do what to do?????

Anyway, other than the rough patches we are hitting with sleeping and yes her temper...she is starting to hit and pull hair to show her frustration (my hair that is!) so we have to put her hand down firmly and say, "No!" Then show her, nice. Then she gives kisses. This happens about 10 times a day. Can't be terrible two's already, are there a such thing as terrible ones?! LOL.

She is surely coming into her own. She is still so happy and full of life and personality. She loves, loves to dance, she is getting to be a better eater, still loves her french fries (what girl doesn't, let's just hope she has daddy's metabolism), strawberries, rice, beans and green beans. She has 3 teeth and I see two more coming in...so I keep wondering, are these teething moments or 10 month phase moments, or is she just plain testing me?! ;)

She just started, one day last week and will go two days this week, a day care down the street from us. I want to send her two days a week through the month of September, in hopes that sub jobs will come up and things will turn around for me to work 2 days a week. I am also hoping this will help her get onto a schedule again and Lexi goes there so they get to play together and with other kids. Rhowan loves kids, she sees little ones and starts kicking her feet and gets so excited, so this is just a good socialization outlet for her and mommy. Plus if I can work two days a week that would cover daycare plus our "play" money for the month so we don't cut into bills. With TJ only getting paid once a month now with the university, it will be an adjustment and I want to help where I can. And, not to mention the sanity of getting a few days out of the house and still doing what I love. If subbing doesn't work out, I am going to stay home with Rhowan and might as well be a stay at home mommy until the kids are in school, which I have really struggled finding a balance with these past few weeks. I don't know if I am just not doing a good job, or if we just need to get into more of a routine, or what it is. I am so hard on myself and feel like I am just not doing a good job. Anyone who thinks staying at home is easy, well I will just stop right there, that is a whole other blog that will need to happen (stay tuned for that later!)

Well with September only a day away, that makes her 1st birthday less than two months away so...1st Birthday planning is in full force. I have her outfits set up for her pictures next Friday with Angela, our good friend Steph is hand making her invitations, so we got our theme, color scheme, not doing the whole character thing, she isn't old enough yet and when she can tell me who she loves and what she wants her bday to be, we will do theme with characters! I am so excited and can't believe our princess will be one!!!!! So bitter sweet.

More to come, pictures and updates from our amazing getaway to Mammoth this past weekend! xoxoxo,

The Bruce's

Our Water Baby

We love having daddy home early, its been a great few days being together as a family again. I love these moments and will never take them for granted. It isn't about quantity, especially with our busy lives and daddy's career, but quality, and that we have!

Family Day

Rhowan and I went to the park on Monday to get out of the house for a bit, she loves the swings!

And look who got off work early and surprised us?! :) We were both sooo excited to see Daddy and surprised. What a wonderful Monday it was.

It got too hot after just 15 minutes, so we went to Grandma and Grandpa's to go swimming after!
On Sunday we had our first family day since Daddy has been home. Mommy and Daddy had date night Saturday night, Rhowan stayed at her Oma and Papa's (thank you mom and dad!) and we had such a good time with friends we haven't seen in awhile. It was a great evening. Then the next morning we woke up, hurting with headaches (it's been awhile, we can't hang anymore.) then picked up Rhowan to go to the Irvine Spectrum for the day to walk around, shop and have a nice lunch/dinner. It was hot, but a nice day together.

Rhowan loves, loves water. She sees waterfalls, sprinklers, pools and goes crazy. Our little water baby!

Summer Fun...

We had a yard sale this past weekend and here were one of the items for sale...NO, not Rhowan, the bubble lawn mower. She was using it as a walker with Grandma and did such a good job. We think it is only a matter of time she will be full on walking!

So for all you that don't know our house is HOTTER than HOT. These old lakewood homes have NO insulation, therefore they hold in heat and cold. This week has been nice to fnially experience summer at it's fullest with sunshine and heat, but ughhh, it is miserable at night when it doesn't cool down in our house...it is literally 87-90 degrees inside!!! So why not break out the good ol' slippin slide like the old days!

Rhowan and Lexi

We had the sprinkler spraying on them too, they loved it!!! :)

Another Day at the Bay...

Wednesday Rhowan and I met Papa and Oma (my parents) at the bay for a few hours. My parents had to leave because my dad had to go to work, so Rhowan and I hung out for an extra hour or so. It was so quiet, relaxing and hot of course. We played in the water, with her toys on the towel, she ate her daily mass consumption of strawberries (she LOVES strawberries), and then we showered and changed for nap and lunch time. I do have to say I was quite proud of myself for allowing her to crawl full force in the sand after she was wet, she splashed, played and enjoyed the bay. I am getting better, just as long as I save a non sandy towel and have a change of clothes for after! See I can compromise! :) It was a great afternoon. Now that it is HOT, I look forward to many more days at the bay.



After the bay we went to Oma and Papa's for the ac and visiting! :) Rhowan was rocking in my old rocking chair watching her toons. She was so giggly and loved rocking. I remember that chair from when I was a little girl. I felt so special in the living room because my mom would have her chair and I had mine! :) Now to see Rhowan in it, makes it a full circe for me. We are just starting memory lane now that Rhowan is so active and getting bigger to do more things.
All the frustrating days, hard teething and fussy afternoons, sleepless nights and the complaining I've done, its moments like this that make me feel blessed for having all the time with her that I do. Thank you hunny for making that possible for us. :)

Got Sand?

Alexa being a good little girl on her towel, sportin her Juicy!

So...Everyone, Jen, Nichole, and Nate thought it would be fun to bury Rhowan in sand because I was freaking out a little, ok, well a lot freaking out. I, as you all know, hate messes...that means sandy messes as well. I was seriously doing everything I could to not pick Rhowan up, take her to the shower, wash her off and put some clean clothes on her. But, I am working on my freakish, clean, controlled, and super organized ways, so I let it go. It took a lot of deep breaths, but Rhowan could've cared less about the sand in all her crevices and was having sooo much fun. As my sister put it, from the girl who hated baths as my dad would say, "Heather, when was the last time you took a bath?" as he yelled at me to come inside from playing. The girl who didn't brush her hair, played outside all day, and who's room was a war zone with one trail out the door as my parents requested an emergency exit! LOL. Seriously, how did I all of a sudden not be able to control my freakish ways of not handling disorder where things are out of their place or wanting to clean my towel with every speck of sand that blew on it.

Anyway, Rhowan was having the time of her life. We met The Baca Clan there and Grandma even came for a bit too. And of course, Rhowan's Nanny and personal nurse, Jen. LOL. ;)

It was a good day, Daddy even came for a bit after his recruiting!

Stay at home mommy?!

Hello everyone,
It's been awhile since I've blogged and although I always feel like there is so much to say and update with, there is just not enough hours in the day.
Daddy has been home for almost two weeks, but it has been non stop ever since. We had a great reunion at the airport at 6 am, woke the princess up to see Daddy coming home, we were both dressed in our UCLA shirts and had posters for him to see right as he walked out those doors to baggage claim. Yes, I said UCLA and posters. I was not able to blog it right away, which took a lot of the excitement away, but we were slowly, very slowly, able to share the wonderful news with our family and friends. TJ got word on 4th of July while we were in Alaska that the head coach at UCLA was interested in hiring TJ as his 2nd asst was offered another job. Well, it was 2 years ago on 4th of July that TJ heard from the head coach at UCLA that he didn't get that job, so it was one of those things that we had been hoping for and would be oh so wonderful, but we kept it under wraps because this coaching and baseball world is such a roller coaster of emotions. When I say roller coaster that is probably an understatement. It was a grueling month to hear those words, "Welcome to UCLA, coach Bruce!" Oh my, it was soooo exciting. Screaming exciting, being we shared this wonderful news over the phone while I was in Palm Springs with Ana enjoying my getaway and cold beer at the pool! ;)
Ahhh, finally....TJ/Daddy has done, he has broken through and finally, ALL that hard work has paid off. His true passion is no longer an unreachable dream, but reality. Thank you God. We have been praying for this for 4 years now. We never thought it would be this long for either of us to break through with our careers, but I had prayed and prayed that God puts us in a place that is meant to be for us and our family and future. That when the time was right to please take care of us, I could never have imagined that it would be right here in CA and with the #2 nation baseball team! WHOOO HOOO. Hunny, we are so deeply proud of you, your persistence has paid off, be confident, know that YOU did this and you deserve it. You are going to be amazing and we will be there all the way to support you 100 percent. This will come at a very big cost, it will be a grind, but as a family we will get through it. That commute to LA, the hours, the recruiting, working for the biggest workhorse in college baseball, the commitment, and the stress of having to prove yourself with your first paid asst job. It will be tough, but success comes at a very big price and it will all be worth it. I wouldn't have it any other way for you to be doing what you love.
And not to mention, with this we are faced with big decisions of me going to work full time, not to work, work part time, ride out this subbing deal, etc. ????? With TJ's hours and schedule it will be hard to work and have Rhowan in daycare and doing a lot on my own with the homefront and with Rhowan. So, its just a lot to think about. Right now I need to see where this puts us financially and am just riding it out. We are so incredibly blessed to have benefits and insurance as a family, its a HUGE stress relief!!!
With all this, being home for the summer has allowed me to be that stay at home mommy I've wanted to be since Rhowan was born. Well, now I am really feeling like maybe I am not cut out for this. Please, don't get me wrong. I love not working, I love being home with Rhowan, but I have seriously created a monster! Yes, I know you don't believe me because Rhowan is a princess for everyone, however when she sees mommy, all bets are off!!! She is so needy with ME. Why is it only with me?! She is "HM" (high maintenance) baby. She is very clingy, connected to my hip lately. I am hoping it's a stage. Which the book I briefly read in the bookstore for the five minutes Rhowan allowed me to read for, said this, that she is learning object permanence, when I am not there she gets separation anxiety, not knowing when I will return and that she is a separate being from me. So, here is the problem. I get NOTHING done all day, so the only way to stay sane is, get out of the house for the day by noon. She won't nap here, so she naps in her stroller on our daily walks on 2nd along the bay and 2nd street. She won't let me shower, so what the hell, I bring her in with me because I can't take the 15 min of her non stop, hysteric crying while I shower. Then there is the middle of the night bottle between 1 and 3 am that she wakes for. Well, while daddy was gone she took that bottle in bed next to mommy and good night we both would go until 8 or 9 am. Hmmmm, a bad habit I created that I thought she would no big deal go right back into her own crib. So that middle of the night bottle now, I went back to giving on the couch, she is out, I put back in the crib=wide awake, crying. What, so I pick her up and put back to sleep and try again. Well, we tried this for 2 hours one night. Let's just say, I then was ready for cry it out, but daddy was NOT. So...how do I say this...she always ends up in our bed and one of us ends up on the couch. NOW WHAT? It is making me go crazy. What have I done? Why did I do this? What do I do now? Cry it out? I can't take that. But I can't take her showering, shitting and sleeping with me either. I love her, but come on, really?! I need some "me" time. Some sanity. I am going to be the worlds worst stay at home mommy ever. All the bragging I used to do about what an easy baby she was and how happy she is...well here is my pay back. I am literally chomping on my own words about the easy part. Yes, she is a great baby and for the most part, no real complaints. But I gotta get a better thing going. She goes down for the night in her crib, why won't she stay in it???!!!
Well that's all I got for right now, wayyyy more to talk about and catch up on, but to be honest, it's bed time.
love you all. Thank you everyone for the prayers, well wishes, love and support. It has finally paid off and this has truly been our year of blessings!

xoxoxo,
The Bruce's

Mommy time!

I just had my first whole weekend to myself since our lil princess has been born. It was harder than I thought it would be, however easier to enjoy myself than I thought. Does that make sense? I wasn't sure that I'd be able to handle two nights without seeing or being with Rhowan. The longest I've been away from her was one night at my moms or TJ's moms house. I needed a mini vaca/break. We have been back from Alaska for almost a month and its been mommy non stop. Don't get me wrong, I have had tons of help and been blessed with everyone being so in love with our princess that they come around to go places with us, help me, visit, etc. It is so nice to have both parents live so close by, my sister and the kids home all summer, and believe me, I take full advantage. We have kept very busy as you could see on the previous posts. I just wanted some down time, a break, 5 hours of un interrupted sleep, and some sun! So Ana and I thought what better time to go to her parents condo in Palm Springs. It is free, close by and we always have such a good time. She went up Friday after work and I was going to meet her there. Grandma/my MIL came to pick up Rhowan on Friday after surprising me and coming over so that I could go get a pedicure and offering to take Rhowan so that I could leave early Saturday morning. I didn't hesitate, I packed Rhowan's bag and helped her out to the car. Then I felt a flood of guilt, selfishness and like a horrible mom for sending her off just so I could have a weekend of mommy alone time. I was about a tear away from a breakdown when my MIL looks at me and says, "Are you ok? I want to take her, I love having her, have a fabulous weekend and enjoy." ahhhh, ok, don't twist my arm. I just felt so awful, like why do you need a break Heather, you don't work! Will Rhowan think I just left her? I started getting freakish again like I was in the beginning where I freaked about every little thing I did and second guessed everything I did as a mom. I just want to be the best possible mom I can be. Well Rhowan was happy as a clam in her car seat of grandma's car and off they went. :) Jen was here and kept pep talking me that I need me time, it keeps every mom sane, so enjoy and don't feel bad. So once I had a glass of wine and relaxed a bit, I was good! :)
My sister and Jen came over for some wine and a movie then off I went to Palm Springs first thing in the morning. I always love going to palm springs at the condo, it is such a low key weekend of hanging out at the pool, we have a no make up or doing hair rule, and we grocery shop and rent movies.
So I get there about 10:15 am and the first beer gets cracked open at 10:30! Yep, just like the good ol days! We headed straight for the pool and drank our beers in our floaties, reading magazines ( I actually got to catch up on all my magazines), catching up and talking cause I haven't seen Ana in weeks, went in for lunch then finally after 6 pm went inside to shower, make dinner and have some wine.
It was such a wonderful and much needed weekend. I needed it and loved it. I feel re energized and am soooo excited for Daddy to come home! Getting the girl time/talk with my bff then getting 7 plus hours of sleep and laying out by the pool...what more could you ask for? I am blessed! Rhowan was such a good girl as always, loved shopping all weekend with Grandma and sleeping in her bed that feels like a heavenly cloud :) lol...she is truly spoiled, but we wouldn't have it any other way. I was so excited driving home to see her, I could hardly contain the butterflies in my tummy. I missed her so much and was proud of myself for learning to balance. Some good friends of ours gave us very good advice after Rhowan was born. To make our children a part of our world, not our entire world. Don't get me wrong, Rhowan is our everything and my world, but I don't want to lose myself and who I am, I want to be me, a wife, friend, daughter, sister, and mom!
Anyway, great weekend, thank you Mil/Grandma and Grandpa for watching the princess and Ana for a much needed weekend.
Now, just less than 72 hours until daddy gets home! YAHOO!!!!!