June was BUSY!!!!

As you all see in the pictures I posted we've been just a little busy.  June has completely flown by and I can't believe we are about to be in July!!!
First and foremost Harloe turned 2 June 7th and we had a little celebration after daddy's super regional games in Fullerton.  We had cupcakes and sang in the back of Gigi and Papa's car!  Then went to Dales for breakfast with Auntie and Lexi, Auntie Jen, Grandma and Grandpa to open presents and sing once more!!!  It wasn't the most ideal birthday party for our little sweet pea, but the pictures will tell a different story and that's all that matters! LOL.
Speaking of Super Regional, who would of ever thought UCLA, the underdog, would beat Fullerton the first two games taking them to the College World Series.  Honestly, TJ and I hadn't even discussed "what ifs."  Partly because he has taught me that with this career you never expect or count on anything because things can change in a blink of an eye.  That goes for jobs, games, travel, etc.  So I have taken to that the best I could because I have to just keep living things out as usual for the girls and keep our routines as normal as possible and worry about things as they come.  Well...they won and then it was like, "OH, you are going to Omaha!  Again, for the second year in a row!"  Now it was time to start planning.  I still had two weeks of school to finish out and now travel plans to make.
Rhowan went to Omaha with Grandma the following weekend for opening games and me and Harloe met them there after I closed out my school year.  She was super excited to go and loved being with Daddy in his hotel room.  Harloe on the other hand, she didn't know what to do with herself.  She was sooo extremely sad and fussy that it literally brought tears to my eyes.  She asked for Sissy when she would wake up, go to sleep, take a nap, get in the car and look at her car seat, get in the stroller, anything and everything about our day she wanted Sissy!!!!  I was happy to have this bonding and down time with Harloe as we don't get much of it, but to be honest, she wanted Sissy and just couldn't function without her.  It is actually pretty cool that they love each other that much and are so close.  I hope it stays that way forever.
The week leading up to us leaving poor Harloe had been battling a head cold, yucky eyes, heat rashes, etc.  But...we went and took Auntie/Nurse Jen with us! LOL.  We left first thing Friday morning to see their game that evening that would tell if they would play an elimination game or make it to the National Championship bracket.  They kept winning and we kept moving right along.  It was so very exciting.  In the meantime we made a trip to the Omaha Zoo and kept ourselves busy in the horrible heat and humidity! :/  Then come Monday UCLA would play Mississippi State for a three game series to win their first National Championship.  It was such an amazing experience to be a part of watching these players and coaches strive to beat the bad commentators, poor reporters and even our local newspapers poor credit where credit was deserved!  I am so very proud of my husband for all he has accomplished in his career, his passion in such a short time.  Yes, he is only an assistant in some eyes, however, in mine, he is the hardest working, most dedicated and ambitious coach in the NCAA that has truly earned his stripes and paid his dues to get where he is today.
I am not saying it hasn't been a struggle.  TJ's hard working schedule puts a lot of pressure on our family and our marriage.  No white picket fence here so please don't think I am trying to paint that picture.  However, we put things into perspective and I try to take everything we are experiencing as God's blessings and working through the hard times.  TJ is a workaholic.  I have officially diagnosed him...LOL.  So after our Omaha trip and coming home as Champs, off to a 6:00 am flight TJ went the very next morning to recruit and recruit some more.  So me and the girls drove to Palm Springs for a much needed relaxing getaway!  Our dear friends, The Mogg Family, gave us 4 nights paid to get away and relax and so off we went again!!!  Unfortunately, TJ couldn't join us, but we met up with my sisters family and even my parents for a night.  It was much needed and perfect.  Me and the girls slept in until 10 am every morning, took 3 hour naps, had nice AC, a pool and such a relaxing time.
After such an amazing weekend and nice getaway we had TJ's cousin Michael and Krystina's wedding to get ready for.  Rhowan had been waiting for this wedding for a whole year as she was honored to be a flower girl with her cousin Chloe.  It was such an amazing wedding and some really great family time.  I finally got a night out with my hubby and still rocked it 6 1/2 months pregnant.  It's nights like those that remind me of how lucky we really are and that I don't have it that bad.  My husband is gone A LOT, works A LOT and has a hard time creating boundaries of work and home, BUT, we are so truly blessed and it may not be about quantity but QUALITY time.  I take those nights, moments, hours that are so few in between and just want to pause time to embrace and enjoy.  Our lives are crazy now and its only going to get busier with another little one on the way.
And grandma, this is for you...THANK YOU for the emails, hugs, kisses and whispers in my ear.  You always know what to say and when I need it most.  During all this celebration, exhilaration, and exciting times, you can still see how hard it can be but you push me along and give me encouragement along the way and for that I THANK YOU.  To my family and friends for ALL the love and support during the last few crazy weeks, I can't thank you enough.  Knowing we have such a huge support system behinds us helps in ways you can't even imagine.  It takes all that love and support to help me be the mommy and understanding wife I need to be in a career that is so demanding you can never mentally prepare yourself enough.
So now July is here. It is time to just stop and enjoy the summer and have fun being a MOMMY!!!!

I love you all and will keep you posted on our fun adventures of the summer.


Much love and God Bless,

The Bruce Family

June...phew what a busy month it's been!

Some pictures to show just how much has been happening and I will catch up on my blogging later!!!  

Yep we are having a baby boy!!!!

Ucla made it to the college World Series for a second year in a row!!!! 

Ucla won and has made it to the finals of CWS...and uncle Troy payed a visit in Omaha for last nights game!!!!  It's been busy!

Harloes 2nd Birthday

Here are some pictures from the weekend and of course I will blog about our birthday girl this week!

Life of a Baseball Widow

Some of you are reading this and saying, "Widow?"  Yes, widow  well ok, wife.  I have joked about it time and time again and I try to always have a positive attitude about it.  When TJ first started this career we were just starting our marriage so needless to say, it was a bit difficult, challenging and awful to be honest.  However, we don't know any different of a marriage, other than how each of us were raised of course.  We decided early on his career would be the one we follow.  The best thing that ever happened to me was meeting the Green Family.  At the time, Becki's husband was a coach at UCLA, kind of ironic right?  TJ was at LB State as a Volunteer Coach.  They became very close friends of ours very quickly.  In this career you hang on to good people you meet because you need all the support you can get.  She showed me, talked to me, let me in, and helped me learn the ropes of what the reality really was as a baseball wife and mom. (We had no children yet, so I still didn't really get it.)  I am forever grateful for our dinners, talks, drinking nights with the hubbies, parties at their home on 2nd.  It helped me really see how to stick by your husband during the demands of this career and how to be strong and independent.  Not that I needed any teaching on that, I have that down to a T! :)
With all that being said, I still struggle.  Yes, everyone, I struggle.  Believe it or not I cry out for help and hit a breaking point too.  I struggle with being a mommy to two young princesses, pregnant with a third, working full time and a husband who is never home.  Not because he doesn't want to be but because his career and our livelihood depend on it.  I always say, I know no different and this is our life and be grateful for what we have.  Which I am.  We are blessed and have the best support system/family that gets it (the best that they can) and helps me with the kids A LOT whenever they can.  Then why does it have to get so hard?  Why am I struggling so hard?  I have hit a point where its not fair to have your own husband physically there to hold you tight and tell you it will be ok when you had a rough day, week, month.  It isn't fair to not have a husband there to help with the kids and do family things together and share in every memory.  Ughhhh, I feel awful as I type this and say it out loud because there are single parents out there who don't choose to be single and believe me, I KNOW that.  I pray to God everyday for how thankful I am and to continue to give me strength.  I just feel more overwhelmed right now than I ever have.  I feel guilty complaining reaching out, because I don't have it that bad.  But sometimes you feel more alone when you aren't really alone than if you truly were alone.  Does that even make sense???  And you all know, I am open with my heart, emotions and feelings, but I don't like asking for help or showing I am defeated.  So this is hard for me to conquer.  I want to be positive, uplifting, focus on my two girls and the baby I am carrying.  I want to just enjoy this ride  journey God has blessed me with.  I have just hit a rough spot.
I am forever grateful for the people God has put into my life.  I feel he has done that for me knowing my husband can't always be.  Sometimes though, you just want your husband.  I thank each and everyone of you who have reached out and supported, helped, listened, prayed and talked with me these past few weeks of my struggle.
I think the best compliment I received was this past weekend.  The Volunteer Coach at UCLA stopped to chat with me at the hotel while the kids were swimming and said that when he meets the woman he wants to marry she will have to meet me and have coffee with me to know what she is getting into and to learn to be a good baseball wife.  I may not always be super understanding but I have tried to really learn my role in this career run while working full time myself.  When he said that it reminded me of needing Becki to really teach and show me.  People joke about it, but you don't really get it until you live it.  You know?
Please don't take this as me being ungrateful or hating my life.  I am just struggling to find the balance that so many of us face in our own lives, marriages, work place, home, etc.  To be the best mom, healthy, good wife, teacher and so much more.  It is hard.  I know I will get through and I know I am blessed, not a day goes by that I don't forget.  My eyelids are just sore from the balling I did last night to remind me that I am also HUMAN!!!!

Until next time, God Bless and thank you all for being in my life.  :)

Another post...another baby on the way!

So much time has passed and I keep asking myself, what is missing from the days I loved being home with Rhowan...I think it may be blogging.  I miss the days of being a mommy, sharing my thoughts, feelings and obstacles of mommy hood.  With working full time those obstacles are even more so, therefore all the need to blog more.  However, not a minute of time to do it.  :(

Here we are in May of 2013, approaching summer (I can't wait to be home with my girls), Harloe's 2nd Birthday, and so much more.  I am finishing my second year working full time as a teacher at the private school and feeling totally blessed, however over worked and overwhelmed.  I feel so under appreciated as a teacher and wonder how to balance my life as a mommy and teacher every second of the day.  I can't even tell you how many times I pray about it and ask God, "How can I find a balance?"  I know I am not listening because I am sure he is telling me, but I just keep going, going and going.  Then boom!  Blessed with another baby on the way and due this October, right before Rhowan turns 4.  So once again, lots of prayers, questions and seeking of guidance is under way.  I couldn't be happier to be where I am today, given so much that TJ and I have worked so hard for and have always been so passionate about.  Who can honestly say they get to do what they always dreamt about.  Here we are, both blessed in our careers and a growing family and life is so chaotic that we forget to stop and enjoy that and be thankful for it.  I am sooooo guilty of this!!!  I have bounced back and forth between being a stay at home mommy and giving up my passion for a time the girls are in school to keep grinding it out because its taken me so long to get here.  We all know with TJ's career it makes those priorities to my children even more so.  I feel that guilt when I am not with them.  I feel the loss that I didn't get to share the time I did with Rhowan with Harloe.  I feel the pain of not knowing what to do now with another little one on the way and my kids being so small and close together in age.  Then I feel the defensiveness I have to answer to with people saying and looking at me like I am crazy for having another baby on the way.  Why does that bother me soooo incredibly much.  Why do I feel like I have to stop the stares, the comments, the passive aggressiveness in people?  I have never been one to care what people think.  Now I feel like I am consumed with it.  I feel like people forget what it is like to have young children, to be a mom to small kids.  People and their patience and compassion are long gone.  When I am in a restaurant, grocery store, church, etc.  Even at my own workplace at a school function.  Again, why am I letting this get to me so badly?
I do have to say that so much good has come from my job of working at our home parish.  I have met people I think I will be life long friends with, genuine people.  I have had the opportunity to give my children their first sacraments at the very church I was raised in.  I have finally felt that connection with God, that void I had all these years of knowing my religion and the roots of it and my relationship with God and what that meant.  I have tried to be a better person with all these contributors, however, I have still managed to struggle with the balance of my role as a mom, wife and teacher (working full time).  With the third one on the way, that pull and struggle is even more so.  The  unknown is scary for me as I am a planner on steroids.
With all that being said we are so incredibly busy with another baseball season coming under wraps, a school year ending, house plans underway to remodel and our two busy princesses.
I know there could be so much more to be dealing with and that I am grateful for.  We are healthy, happy, blessed and have a roof over our heads with two paying jobs.  We have it sooo good!!!