Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Constant battle...to work, not to work. Career Mom vs. Stay at Home Mommy????
So, I did it...I got an interview and landed a full time job, starting Monday morning. I went into it, not sure what I wanted from it and extremely torn. I've loved the time off I've had with Rhowan and the freedom of time, being home with Rhowan, doing what we want, when we want, etc. I have really learned the balance of being a stay at home mommy and keeping my sanity, thanks to daycare twice a week. I have listened to everyone say, "Take advantage of this time, you will never get it back with Rhowan." I feel I have done that and I'm not ready to stop doing that, however, it's time for me to contribute financially to give us more financial stability and freedom. I went into the interview with the attitude, literally making it very clear, that I would NOT work just to pay daycare. That is half the reason I am not subbing. The work isn't consistent enough to make enough to make it worth it with daycare.
Now, I am not saying I am walking away from teaching. As I stated in my interview when asked if this was long term for me, as that is what they are looking for and am I leaving teaching. I do not know where I will be in my life when the education system turns itself around. I can't keep putting things on hold waiting for that opportunity to teach. It is still my passion and if I meant to be in the classroom, God will make it happen. Just as he has with everything else in our lives the past two years with things "falling" into place the way they are meant to be. I am up for the challenge of a new career path. I do not want a job, I want to enjoy what I do every day and like going to work if I am leaving my daughter for it. With this new job, as an admin asst. for Goldsmith Co. (TJ worked for them for the past four years, they are big boosters of LB State and took very good care of him.) it is flexible, casual, and a family owned business that cares about their employees. If I am going to work, that is the job and environment I'd choose.
I accepted the job, as they loved me after the interview, duh, who wouldn't! j/k...now I am not business savvy, but I am fresh eyes and mind ready to learn and be a sponge. I am a fast learner and can take on the task.
With that being said, it was a very hard decision...I was extremely stressed and torn. I was worried about putting Rhowan in full time day care, half day Fridays as we work only half days every Friday (huge plus!) :) I was also worried I haven't taken enough advantage of the time I've had with Rhowan and now its going to be gone. But it won't be gone. We will have weekends and Friday afternoons. I will miss her incredibly to where it will pain me, but I think I am doing the right thing for me and our family. After much debate and advice from friends and Rhowan's day care care giver, I was re assured that Rhowan would be great, it will be harder on me, she loves it there and parents all over the country do this and the extra money will be good for us.
I accepted and wanted to start after this coming up week, with Rhowan turning one we have lots of appts. However, they want me now and will totally work around all the appts. So I gave them the appt schedule up front and will work a few half days and will start this Monday. Wow, its all happening so fast. I am nervous, yet excited. Sad, yet re assured that Rhowan will be fine. Stressed, yet relieved that we will have more money to build a cushion (hopefully, the more you make the more you spend as we all know too well.) So, I am going with it. I am taking this as God's plan because it all just un folded so quickly. I feel good I was open, honest and communicated my struggles and hesitations with them and as they told me, "at the end of the day, Family comes first." That is all I needed to hear. Let's hope this is a positive move and I am able to balance motherhood, baseball widow, working full time with daddy's crazy schedule, etc. I pray for easy transitions and all turns out well. Please send your prayers my way for this as well.
With that being said, Rhowan's 1st Bday is almost here, so stay tuned for lots and lots of updates and pictures this upcoming week! :)
My baby girl is growing so fast. I could go on for days, but will wait! ;)
Well that pretty much sums up my last week and updates us here in the Bruce household. Mommy is going back to work, daddy is working like a horse, and Rhowan is doing fabulous, getting so big! We love you all.
xoxoxo
Now, I am not saying I am walking away from teaching. As I stated in my interview when asked if this was long term for me, as that is what they are looking for and am I leaving teaching. I do not know where I will be in my life when the education system turns itself around. I can't keep putting things on hold waiting for that opportunity to teach. It is still my passion and if I meant to be in the classroom, God will make it happen. Just as he has with everything else in our lives the past two years with things "falling" into place the way they are meant to be. I am up for the challenge of a new career path. I do not want a job, I want to enjoy what I do every day and like going to work if I am leaving my daughter for it. With this new job, as an admin asst. for Goldsmith Co. (TJ worked for them for the past four years, they are big boosters of LB State and took very good care of him.) it is flexible, casual, and a family owned business that cares about their employees. If I am going to work, that is the job and environment I'd choose.
I accepted the job, as they loved me after the interview, duh, who wouldn't! j/k...now I am not business savvy, but I am fresh eyes and mind ready to learn and be a sponge. I am a fast learner and can take on the task.
With that being said, it was a very hard decision...I was extremely stressed and torn. I was worried about putting Rhowan in full time day care, half day Fridays as we work only half days every Friday (huge plus!) :) I was also worried I haven't taken enough advantage of the time I've had with Rhowan and now its going to be gone. But it won't be gone. We will have weekends and Friday afternoons. I will miss her incredibly to where it will pain me, but I think I am doing the right thing for me and our family. After much debate and advice from friends and Rhowan's day care care giver, I was re assured that Rhowan would be great, it will be harder on me, she loves it there and parents all over the country do this and the extra money will be good for us.
I accepted and wanted to start after this coming up week, with Rhowan turning one we have lots of appts. However, they want me now and will totally work around all the appts. So I gave them the appt schedule up front and will work a few half days and will start this Monday. Wow, its all happening so fast. I am nervous, yet excited. Sad, yet re assured that Rhowan will be fine. Stressed, yet relieved that we will have more money to build a cushion (hopefully, the more you make the more you spend as we all know too well.) So, I am going with it. I am taking this as God's plan because it all just un folded so quickly. I feel good I was open, honest and communicated my struggles and hesitations with them and as they told me, "at the end of the day, Family comes first." That is all I needed to hear. Let's hope this is a positive move and I am able to balance motherhood, baseball widow, working full time with daddy's crazy schedule, etc. I pray for easy transitions and all turns out well. Please send your prayers my way for this as well.
With that being said, Rhowan's 1st Bday is almost here, so stay tuned for lots and lots of updates and pictures this upcoming week! :)
My baby girl is growing so fast. I could go on for days, but will wait! ;)
Well that pretty much sums up my last week and updates us here in the Bruce household. Mommy is going back to work, daddy is working like a horse, and Rhowan is doing fabulous, getting so big! We love you all.
xoxoxo
Friday, October 1, 2010
Full Moon????
So to say the least, this has been one hell of a week. I am not gonna lie, I am not gonna be that person that acts like everything is always peachy king and white picket fences. Those of you who know me, know me well and I tell it like it is. Whether it's wanted or not...I say the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad. Most people, who love me for this, I will call it open ness rather than bitchiness (haha), know to not come to me about things until they are ready to hear the truth, I can't be fake. It is not in my blood, I have NEVER been able to be fake or kill with kindness, which is a fault and a plus, I think. Anyway, back to the point. I tell it like it is, so here it is.
First my husband gets home late Sunday night from 3 nights in AZ recruiting, soooo extremely exhausted and back to work at 5:30 am the next morning. Well the rest of the week went like this. Home after 8:30 at night and up again at 5 ish back to work...I was as prepared for this with his new job as I possibly could be and always tease about being a baseball widow. However, it does get very hard, especially with Rhowan and I both getting over colds, me taking her back to the dr, up with her at night during her cough attacks, between my coughing and never getting that quality 5 minutes with my husband to say more than, "what are your plans for tomorrow?" It's hard, frustrating, but at the same time, I know he is exhausted too. But after two weeks of hardly seeing him except for in bed with our princess between us (Dr recommended crib training after she is back to 100 percent) and with the short kiss goodbye every morning at 5 something am it has taken its toll on me. I just want some quality time with my hubby to snuggle, feel loved, have a real life conversation about the plans for the upcoming weekends, Rhowan's bday, how our days have been. Something, anything. But I get the tired TJ, the I'm exhausted and going to bed. How can I argue that when he works his tail off? But I do cause I miss him too! Ahhhh, finding that balance, back to balance. It's always about the balance in life...sooooo hard!
Then I got a little excited, being today is October 1st and still no period from September. Hey, maybe I am preggo and our kids will be about 2 years apart, what I've always wanted. Then I took a pregnancy test, because I am obsessed with them, and it was a big fat NEGATIVE and I realized oh yeah, you have to actually see your husband and have SEX to get preggo! LOL. Sorry way too much info for some of you but when your husband works 15 plus hours a day what more can I say...I mean I am not complaining...yet, hopefully it doesn't take 2 years again to get preggo, but what is meant to be will be!
Then all this drama about the BIG one coming on Sept. 30th had me all in a frantic frenzy! I was googling, texting Ana my go to stresser and was just a HOT mess! Literally HOT mess!
Bringing me to my next topic...the HEAT in fall...yes, we didn't have much of a summer, however, I was pleased with the weather being we have NO a/c and live in an old lakewood home with no insulation and it is hotter in the house than outside. So we packed our bags and lived at TJ's parents for a week! Yep, on vacation in the a/c! It is like being on vaca with our own suite/bedroom upstairs with our own bathroom, king size bed, did I say a/c?! And even help with Rhowan so I can have a little break too, which helped the nights grandma and grandpa took Rhowan in bed with them so I can take medicine and get over my sore throat and aches! Then came back home thinking it was cooled off, and nope, not in our house, still freaking hot and back to middle of night cough attacks, steamed showers, full blast fans giving us all sore throats again. UGHHHH.
So, did I say this week sucked?! It's been a crazy week with other family things going on too with Grandpa's health. Grandpa Dave we love you, please get better soon so me and Rhowan can see you!
Oh and we had to go back to the DR for Rhowan because after two weeks passing from her conjunctivitis she developed a runny, green globby nose, a mucus cough, not eating much, etc. So back to the Dr and now she has an ear infection and is on antibiotics. Hopefully in the next 4 days the amoxicilin will kick in just as her dr said and then we can crib train and get ready to turn 1!
She is full on drinking out of her sippy cup now with the spill proof in there, she finally learned to suck from it. She is walking and running and loving every minute of it. She is copying everything I do and trying to repeat sounds I say. We sing, "clean up, clean up, everybody clean up" and put all our toys away and she actually helps, while smiling! Gotta keep that up!
She will give me things I ask for and know what I am talking about. She hands me books over and over to read and will touch and feel, flip the pages, point to things. She lines up the duckies with me in the bath and tries to say Ducky. She has a number and ABC mat that she plays with and sticks the letters in and out of their stencil type things. She can match them back in there and pat them in just by watching me do it once!
I know, I know, so many of you are probably like, what the heck are you complaining about when you don't work and all you have to do is take care of Rhowan all day. Well what I have to say to all of you is...you obviously have never been a stay at home mom! LOL.
There was my blogging/venting session for the week. But I ended on a positive update of our growing princess so there! LOL. :)
Hope you all have a great weekend and let's just hope we are all safe, prepared for disasters whenever they are meant to happen, thanking God for each day we are given and staying cool over the weekend. After all, when I hear other peoples week, I'd gladly take mine back...I am blessed and thankful!
hugs and kisses to all
First my husband gets home late Sunday night from 3 nights in AZ recruiting, soooo extremely exhausted and back to work at 5:30 am the next morning. Well the rest of the week went like this. Home after 8:30 at night and up again at 5 ish back to work...I was as prepared for this with his new job as I possibly could be and always tease about being a baseball widow. However, it does get very hard, especially with Rhowan and I both getting over colds, me taking her back to the dr, up with her at night during her cough attacks, between my coughing and never getting that quality 5 minutes with my husband to say more than, "what are your plans for tomorrow?" It's hard, frustrating, but at the same time, I know he is exhausted too. But after two weeks of hardly seeing him except for in bed with our princess between us (Dr recommended crib training after she is back to 100 percent) and with the short kiss goodbye every morning at 5 something am it has taken its toll on me. I just want some quality time with my hubby to snuggle, feel loved, have a real life conversation about the plans for the upcoming weekends, Rhowan's bday, how our days have been. Something, anything. But I get the tired TJ, the I'm exhausted and going to bed. How can I argue that when he works his tail off? But I do cause I miss him too! Ahhhh, finding that balance, back to balance. It's always about the balance in life...sooooo hard!
Then I got a little excited, being today is October 1st and still no period from September. Hey, maybe I am preggo and our kids will be about 2 years apart, what I've always wanted. Then I took a pregnancy test, because I am obsessed with them, and it was a big fat NEGATIVE and I realized oh yeah, you have to actually see your husband and have SEX to get preggo! LOL. Sorry way too much info for some of you but when your husband works 15 plus hours a day what more can I say...I mean I am not complaining...yet, hopefully it doesn't take 2 years again to get preggo, but what is meant to be will be!
Then all this drama about the BIG one coming on Sept. 30th had me all in a frantic frenzy! I was googling, texting Ana my go to stresser and was just a HOT mess! Literally HOT mess!
Bringing me to my next topic...the HEAT in fall...yes, we didn't have much of a summer, however, I was pleased with the weather being we have NO a/c and live in an old lakewood home with no insulation and it is hotter in the house than outside. So we packed our bags and lived at TJ's parents for a week! Yep, on vacation in the a/c! It is like being on vaca with our own suite/bedroom upstairs with our own bathroom, king size bed, did I say a/c?! And even help with Rhowan so I can have a little break too, which helped the nights grandma and grandpa took Rhowan in bed with them so I can take medicine and get over my sore throat and aches! Then came back home thinking it was cooled off, and nope, not in our house, still freaking hot and back to middle of night cough attacks, steamed showers, full blast fans giving us all sore throats again. UGHHHH.
So, did I say this week sucked?! It's been a crazy week with other family things going on too with Grandpa's health. Grandpa Dave we love you, please get better soon so me and Rhowan can see you!
Oh and we had to go back to the DR for Rhowan because after two weeks passing from her conjunctivitis she developed a runny, green globby nose, a mucus cough, not eating much, etc. So back to the Dr and now she has an ear infection and is on antibiotics. Hopefully in the next 4 days the amoxicilin will kick in just as her dr said and then we can crib train and get ready to turn 1!
She is full on drinking out of her sippy cup now with the spill proof in there, she finally learned to suck from it. She is walking and running and loving every minute of it. She is copying everything I do and trying to repeat sounds I say. We sing, "clean up, clean up, everybody clean up" and put all our toys away and she actually helps, while smiling! Gotta keep that up!
She will give me things I ask for and know what I am talking about. She hands me books over and over to read and will touch and feel, flip the pages, point to things. She lines up the duckies with me in the bath and tries to say Ducky. She has a number and ABC mat that she plays with and sticks the letters in and out of their stencil type things. She can match them back in there and pat them in just by watching me do it once!
I know, I know, so many of you are probably like, what the heck are you complaining about when you don't work and all you have to do is take care of Rhowan all day. Well what I have to say to all of you is...you obviously have never been a stay at home mom! LOL.
There was my blogging/venting session for the week. But I ended on a positive update of our growing princess so there! LOL. :)
Hope you all have a great weekend and let's just hope we are all safe, prepared for disasters whenever they are meant to happen, thanking God for each day we are given and staying cool over the weekend. After all, when I hear other peoples week, I'd gladly take mine back...I am blessed and thankful!
hugs and kisses to all
Monday, September 27, 2010
1 Year Old Pictures...
Here are just a few pics from Rhowan's First Birthday Photo Shoot. She did such a good job, considering I woke her up from a dead sleep nap and she hadn't slept all day! She got into her first outfit, the one above, and rocked out with her fun personality and smile for the camera! She just smiles away and had so much fun with it. We did 3 outfits total in just one hour, so she was definitely a trooper! Angela has once again captured our princess giving us the most priceless gift of memories and keepsakes of our little girl growing up just before our eyes. She hurried to get me a few shots to include in her bday invites, which I randomly placed in each invite. Thank you Angela, I can't wait to get the rest of the photos and have them all developed!
Oh these pictures make me so happy and sad all at once. I look back at pictures of her just being born and throughout her first year of life and can't believe how fast it has truly gone. It's such a cliche when people say that, but it is true!
I am in full birthday planning mode. I literally get so wrapped up in stuff like this that I can't sleep because I just have ideas running through my head 100 mph and things I need to get done, etc. I love planning and doing these kinds of things, but I am just so anal and organized that I drive myself crazy! lol...I dream of zebra print, purple, party favors, games, activities, desserts, etc. And I have a million and one lists, so go figure why it is all still running through my head at 11 and 12 o clock at night!
Anyway, we are so excited to share this special day and her first year with our family and closest and dearest friends.
Stay posted for her modeling pictures for the clothing line she did this summer. She made front and back cover of the catalog too! :)
xoxoxo,
The Bruce's
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Full on Walking
Well Rhowan is officially 11 months old and is full on walking. Can you believe our princess will be one next month. I got her invites yesterday, handmade with love from Steph, and will be mailing them this weekend. Rhowan has become more and more confident in walking, letting go of things to hold on, and just going for it. She walks from one room to another now all on her own. She is walking outside with all the other kids at daycare, loving every minute of it and wants to be more independent. I am so happy that she is a go getter and has taken on to each milestone so fast, however it is a bitter sweet. This time last year, I was over being pregnant, teaching full time and anxiously awaiting our baby girl to arrive. It feels like that was all just yesterday.
My sister and Lexi stopped by the other day to say hi, Rhowan was sick over the weekend and they hadn't seen her in a few days, and my sister was freaking out at how much Rhowan was walking and how weird it was to see her just go. It is weird. I can set her down now after getting her out of the car seat and she holds my hand and walks up to the house with me. No more carrier, no more carrying, just walking all on her own! She will be running in no time I am sure of it. :)
I am finally adjusting to being a stay at home mommy with a good routine. I pretty much just mimicked, for the most part, the routine she does at daycare two days a week, which she has taken to so well. She even naps and falls asleep on her own there! I know, a lot of you are like, why day care when you aren't working?
Well I signed a contract in hopes that I would be working full time by Sept. But things with the district got worse and I didn't think I would be out of subbing and teaching all together. I have come to terms with it and lets just say, am walking away from the bs of all of it right now, a little bitter, but trying to see that this is what God has planned for me right now is to stay home with my kids, which I do love and am finding balance to, however, it's just hard when you have worked your absolute butt off for something with all the state tests, student teaching, schooling, etc. to have your credential just sit there.
Anyway, yes, daycare 2 days a week from 9-3 has become a nice cleaning day, laundry day, errands for mommy and a good socialization and structure time for Rhowan. She has adjusted so well and I feel that is so important. It is hard for some kids to transition well to pre school and kinder when all they've been home with forever is their mommy 24/7. So its been working out for now and worth the $30 a day. We'll re evaluate once the new year comes and baseball season starts. For now its working for us and its been a good thing.
So I bought her some soft sole shoes type things, Robeez, you may have heard of them and with our princess' fat feet, its been hard to have her fit into a pair. So needless to say, Target was the winner and we found a pair for her. They are like leather socks pretty much that are soft sole, but so she won't be barefoot on cement walking. So I bought her some pretty purple ones, I know, purple are you surprised?! And lets just say, they come home black and purple! LOL. Rhowan plays so hard and is so busy, walking and crawling that she is an absolute rag muffin when she gets home! I think its cute, it shows she is having fun and happy. They play outside and aren't cooped in a house all day, which I really like. So my $12.99 was spent well, most the dirt came off with a baby wipe and they are ready for day 2 of daycare! Needless to say, I wasn't exactly the cleanest kid on the block either. I always played hard, never brushed my hair, hated baths and well just rode my big wheels all day! I am sure most of you are beside yourself reading that, but its the truth and I hear stories often to this day about how dirty I was. Well at least I was active! That will be Rhowan, I can see it already. All those fights I had with my dad of not wanting to come in when the street lights came on to take a bath, that will be me and Rhowan! LOL. I know my family is just cracking up at this right now because how did such a filthy kid become such a neat freak adult that hated to see my daughter get one spot on her outfit and then would change her! hmmmm...still trying to figure that one out everybody!
Anyway, all is good. Rhowan is doing great and we are still in bday planning mode as October is just around the corner, literally, next week!
Talk to you all soon.
Hugs and kisses
My sister and Lexi stopped by the other day to say hi, Rhowan was sick over the weekend and they hadn't seen her in a few days, and my sister was freaking out at how much Rhowan was walking and how weird it was to see her just go. It is weird. I can set her down now after getting her out of the car seat and she holds my hand and walks up to the house with me. No more carrier, no more carrying, just walking all on her own! She will be running in no time I am sure of it. :)
I am finally adjusting to being a stay at home mommy with a good routine. I pretty much just mimicked, for the most part, the routine she does at daycare two days a week, which she has taken to so well. She even naps and falls asleep on her own there! I know, a lot of you are like, why day care when you aren't working?
Well I signed a contract in hopes that I would be working full time by Sept. But things with the district got worse and I didn't think I would be out of subbing and teaching all together. I have come to terms with it and lets just say, am walking away from the bs of all of it right now, a little bitter, but trying to see that this is what God has planned for me right now is to stay home with my kids, which I do love and am finding balance to, however, it's just hard when you have worked your absolute butt off for something with all the state tests, student teaching, schooling, etc. to have your credential just sit there.
Anyway, yes, daycare 2 days a week from 9-3 has become a nice cleaning day, laundry day, errands for mommy and a good socialization and structure time for Rhowan. She has adjusted so well and I feel that is so important. It is hard for some kids to transition well to pre school and kinder when all they've been home with forever is their mommy 24/7. So its been working out for now and worth the $30 a day. We'll re evaluate once the new year comes and baseball season starts. For now its working for us and its been a good thing.
So I bought her some soft sole shoes type things, Robeez, you may have heard of them and with our princess' fat feet, its been hard to have her fit into a pair. So needless to say, Target was the winner and we found a pair for her. They are like leather socks pretty much that are soft sole, but so she won't be barefoot on cement walking. So I bought her some pretty purple ones, I know, purple are you surprised?! And lets just say, they come home black and purple! LOL. Rhowan plays so hard and is so busy, walking and crawling that she is an absolute rag muffin when she gets home! I think its cute, it shows she is having fun and happy. They play outside and aren't cooped in a house all day, which I really like. So my $12.99 was spent well, most the dirt came off with a baby wipe and they are ready for day 2 of daycare! Needless to say, I wasn't exactly the cleanest kid on the block either. I always played hard, never brushed my hair, hated baths and well just rode my big wheels all day! I am sure most of you are beside yourself reading that, but its the truth and I hear stories often to this day about how dirty I was. Well at least I was active! That will be Rhowan, I can see it already. All those fights I had with my dad of not wanting to come in when the street lights came on to take a bath, that will be me and Rhowan! LOL. I know my family is just cracking up at this right now because how did such a filthy kid become such a neat freak adult that hated to see my daughter get one spot on her outfit and then would change her! hmmmm...still trying to figure that one out everybody!
Anyway, all is good. Rhowan is doing great and we are still in bday planning mode as October is just around the corner, literally, next week!
Talk to you all soon.
Hugs and kisses
Monday, September 20, 2010
Rhowan's First MLB Game
We finally got to go to a game as a family. With the season almost over, we made it to a Rockies vs. Dodger game to see Uncle Troy, Daddy's best friend, and a family day at the ball park. It is always nice to get to go to games together since its usually daddy on the field we are watching, coaching 3rd base. Grandpa has season tix so we all went for the day, it was a nice day! Rhowan was such a good girl, she wanted to go play on the field, she even napped for maybe an hour. I was real worried about her not lasting in the seats for very long, however Grandpa has two sets of season tix, with Uncle Brian and Rachael in the other ones (in the shade and by a passing isle) it allowed us all to get out of the sun for a bit and stand up, walk around and let the kids, Rhowan and Rachaels nephew Quintin play a little.
Friday, September 17, 2010
I love my life...
So lately I have been really down and out on myself and so incredibly hard and judgemental on myself. I had told myself, ok Heather, enough of this already. Then I read a post on a blog that I follow of a stay at home mom, whom I don't even know, but love to read her theories from a book she reads and follows along with some good advice she puts out there from being a mom of three.
Well come to find out, I am not the only mommy who struggles with balance and freaking out over the littlest of things in life. Like really Heather, if she only wants green beans every meal, who freaking cares! I need to learn to laugh more than cry as she so easily puts it. She says by the second and then third you really learn to do this better and she would stress, worry, freak out about all the little things that I so often see myself worried about. Then after her first she sees herself realizing, its not one size fits all. We are all doing our best and learning as we go. Enjoy it and stop stressing over so much. Such as naps, food and eating times, sleeping through the night, getting dirty, getting off her routine and schedule, etc. I need to learn to sit back, enjoy these moments and laugh more than cry and stressing out. I have it so good. I pretty much get to be home with my princess every day and get things done I want to get done that used to have to wait til the weekends. Being a stay at home mommy is wayyyyy harder than I ever imagined it to be. It has taken a lot of patience and balance to put aside things I know I won't get to do with Rhowan home with me, however, it beats waking up every day to go to work and leaving her. Although, there are times I do miss that. I took Nate to school last week, walked him up to his classroom, looked inside with envy of the teacher, she has my dream. I want that to be me with 20 little kinders around me that I get to teach all day. I walked away from the school feeling like a loser and that my dreams and passion have left me. I have gotten so frustrated with the bs of education and layoffs that I was over ever going back to work. I don't want to say I've given up, but if its meant to be it will be there when all, yes I said all, my kids are going into school. Maybe this is what God had planned for me, to be at home with my babies. In that case, I am blessed and happy to do it. Thank you hunny for allowing it to happen by working so hard and following your passion to see it come through for us as a family.
I have really taken a step back with all the sad stories I hear lately of babies, cancer, tragedies, etc. and put things back into perspective with my life. I love being at home...even after the rough days of teething, fussy, no naps on some days, can't run in and get a quick eyebrow wax because oh boy, it would be an ugly scene of Rhowan waiting for mommy! But I wouldn't trade any of that for the world.
Now that is, as long as I get my adult time too...my girls time, my date nights, and some interaction with others. I do find myself lonelier, not having as much adult interaction, so it is something TJ and I need to understand of one another that I need that too. Last weekend we had our first annual girls trip that we have decided to do once a year with our crazy, busy lives of Grad School, being wives, mommies, and just busy. It was much needed and a great time. I am so glad we did it, although it took some, well let's say several conversations to explain to TJ why I needed this "vacation" as he called it for a one night getaway. I think its healthy and normal and good for all of us. Rhowan needs to be with others than just me and learn to socialize and be ok without me. I want all her transitions and milestones to go well. Here I go again, stressing! LOL. Anyway.
There are so many goals I have of being a stay at home mommy right now...On the top of that list, scrap booking Rhowan's 1st year. I want to learn to cook. I have been jogging about 3 times a week and would like to keep that up while going back to Yoga. I want to join a mommy and me class of music and/or dance as Rhowan loves to do both! There is of course so much more I strive for while I am home with her to make sure I am the best mommy I can be and that she is the happiest baby she can be. But I have accepted not every day will be perfect, so stop being such a perfectionist and over analyzing EVERYTHING! :)
Well just thought I'd share that with you all and hope you all have a fantastic Friday and great weekend.
xoxoxo,
Heather
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