Almost to Alaska...

I feel like the days and weeks get away from me lately...I hate the feeling of missing everyone because I haven't seen or really talked to anyone in awhile. I have just been so busy with work, grades, closing up the classroom, senior activities for my students, coming home and being NON STOP with Rhowan until she's in bed, house chores, and finally-getting ready to go to Alaska! Ahhhhh, finally get to see and be with TJ after the longest two weeks ever. Yes, I've had plenty to keep me busy, however, not having him home feels so empty and incomplete. Not having that person to talk to before bed, hand Rhowan off to when she's fussy so I can finish cooking dinner, or running her bath, etc. I have so much respect for all the single moms out there, it is tough, and we've had so much family and friend love and support. What I would do without our families so close by is unfathomable. THANK YOU everyone for being so understanding, for checking in on us, for having us over for dinners, for all the love and support!

I am sorry I've been such a stranger and so bad at blogging, texting, calling and emailing. I love and miss you all. Rhowan is growing so fast, I just can't keep up with her...I have been so bad about recording it all too (that's how crazy my life is) and all I tell myself is, "Heather, you better get on it, she will want to look at this some day and her heart will break if it's empty." So I have a summer project=baby books! :) This will be my first summer off, no working since before college!!! I am soooo excited to take advantage of this time with Rhowan, its pointless to work just to pay day care, so I am going to enjoy my time with her while looking for full time work come September and then she'll start day care full time. (Auntie Nichole will be doing her student teaching, so Rhowan and Alexa will start day care together. She has been so lucky to stay home most days with Auntie, so it will be a change. Probably harder on me than her though!) She stood today, all on her own, NO holding on, for about 30 seconds, so I know it is just a matter of days or weeks that she will be taking those first steps. My baby is getting so big. I had to go buy 12 months clothing because I know it will be a matter of time her 9 months will be too small, here real shortly. :( I am so sad, but happy because she is such a fun, enthusiastic and happy baby to be around.
Mommy is still learning how to let the house just go and take the moments for what they are and to stop cleaning up all the time so I could just enjoy being with Rhowan. I am so bad at that and hate that about myself. I always have a running to do list in my head and can never sit and relax when at home. Such a fault of mine...but I am working on it, or aware of it at least.
My long term ends Friday and I have to say, I will miss my seniors and ended up loving it. It was a rough last week with finals and crying seniors who didn't pass, therefore not walking, but the few that did come in, hug me, thank me, wrote me letters and told me how much they loved and appreciated me, made it all worth it. I truly loved working with them and feel like I made a difference for once. I didn't need the pat on the back, I know I pushed these kids, some with babies of their own and some the first to graduate in their families. I can feel the passion for my own classroom on the tips of my fingers, burning. I will not give up, maybe I need to leave the profession, get another credential to do 6-12th so I can do all grades and find something to provide for my family in the meantime.
TJ is doing well in Alaska. We get to skype only about once a week because our schedules are opposites, Rhowan is so confused as to where his voice is coming from with his picture on the screen. She said "da da" for the first time last week. She is starting on table foods: wheat, dry toast, avocados, crackers and shakes her head no as well as saying, "Hiiii" very high pitched! Oh our princess is so freakin cute!!!!
Well just an update for you all. I have tons of laundry and packing to do as well as two more days of work, so gotta run and get things done.
We love and miss you all. We will post pictures as we can while in Alaska. Rhowan and I fly out Saturday, I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. Keep the prayers coming for TJ to get a full time, paid coaching position after this summer.
Love to you all,
The Bruce's