Harloe 4 Months Old

Oh my how time is going so fast. I know that is so cliche, but really, where is the time going? Next week, OMG, next freaking week Rhowan will be two years old...I have started showing her how to show that she is two, but wow holding all her fingers down except two of them is hard! LOL...she keeps saying one, but we will work on it. She is just too smart for her own good and the best big sister ever. She takes care of baby...when Harloe is crying I will walk in and Rhowan is already tending to her trying to give her the pacifier or one of "baby's toys cause baby cry." :) She has such a big heart and just loves baby Harloe so much. This morning we were getting in the car and she started jumping up and down saying, "it's raining!" I said, "No mommy, it's foggy." She said, "oh, foggy?" then I put her in the car...all my bags in the car and third trip, baby in the car (Rhowan refers to her as baby, so we'll see if Harloe ever learns her name!) She grabs Harloe's hand and says, "baby, it's foggy. You gringa's too?" Oh my, she is just too freaking cute!!!

Harloe will go to the dr next week for her 4 month old check up and shots, so no stats to report, but stay tuned. Then the following week we will be back at the dr for Rhowan's 2 year check up. I just introduced Harloe to rice cereal Sunday for the first time. This past week she was waking up every 3 hours through the night, so I though growth spurt, but then thought it was time to start rice cereal. I am still trying to nurse as much as I can, whenever I am with her, however with me back at work, I don't have time to pump the way I did with Rhowan, so I see myself nursing less and less already. It makes me super sad cause I went 7 months strong with Rhowan. But I am learning a lot is different the second time around when you have a toddler/baby around! Which is a good thing, just different :)

I am starting to feel human again. The girls have a bedtime routine FINALLY, wow that was the hardest thing to get down with two wanting me to lay with them, hold them, Rhowan wanting to read, both needing a bath, making dinner for me and Rhowan while Harloe wanting her dinner too, Rhowan being needy while I was nursing...phew, it was rough figuring that part out. For awhile I was thinking to myself what I was going to do because I was having to call someone over just about every night just to help me get them down. I knew it would come within time and it did, it finally came. Watch, now that I say that it will all change!

Harloe is such a good baby, very low key and easy going and happy! She has transitioned to her crib very well and wakes up 1-2 times at night to nurse, which isn't too bad! Rhowan is still waking up too to come to mommy and daddy's bed and then most nights she hears me get up to go feed the baby and comes in and lays down until I put the baby back down and take her back to bed. :( I feel so awful because she is waking up too, but what are you gonna do? I keep telling myself, Survival Mode, screw what "The Books" say! Yes, you heard me right. Mrs. over analyzing, want to be perfect mommy said, "SCREW the books!" LOL...Any of you who have two, under two, in diapers, can relate and don't judge me for saying that. :)

Harloe is very alert, already pushing herself out of her swing and vibrating chair, forcing me to strap her in now. She has been on many trips to Disneyland already, and a trooper at that. I still do get that sense of guilt that I don't have the down time to really get to enjoy her and I alone time the way I did with Rhowan. I think that is natural though? So at her 3 or 4 am nursing is when I take advantage of our quiet time together.

I am still struggling finding the balance between work and being a mommy. I want to lesson plan all day and night to do everything I can in my class, but just don't have that kind of time on my hands. Then I want to come home and be with my kids and not worry about doing school work and feel I am not giving them my 100 % when I should be. So it is difficult...I know I will never get this time back with my girls at this age so I want to cherish it, but feel like most days I am just going through the motions to get through that day because I am so exhausted and stressed with wanting to be the best mom and teacher.

I feel like I am all over the place right now, but just a little update with pictures to follow. I have to download my most recent pics off of my brand new, professional camera TJ surprised me with. I now think I am the paparazzi so watch out, I have the big lenses that come on and off and everything! :) Love it...