A Whole LOT of nothin...

I swear, every day as I am showering or driving (my quiet time and reflection times these days), I think, "I need to blog about this...I need to update this...I need to write about this..." then the day goes on, gets away from me, I forget and bam...the moment is GONE! Story of my life, but wouldn't change it for the world.

I absolutely love being at home with Rhowan and not having to work. Yes, it is a lot of work, but it is so much fun. The teething makes it challenging at times, but I wouldn't change it for anything. This is my first summer not working since junior year of high school, so I have just been enjoying. The other day she woke from a nap, hysterical might I add because I was in the shower while she woke up, and I sat there, holding her, on our bed, in my towel, with her cuddling up next to me, just taking it in, the times where she will just lay there and stare at me, not trying to get away to crawl, put something in her mouth, etc. are rare these days, so I had to take full advantage. I had a full on conversation with her, cried, reflected, made promises of the mom I hope to be and want to be for her and just loved it. Ok, so I am a bit crazy, well a lot crazy, but I just love being a mom, I feel like it is my true calling. Yes, I have always wanted to be a teacher, but I, for the first time in a loooong time, feel totally complete, minus the frustration of not being able to find a job that I have been so passionate about and have dreamt of, I don't even focus on that anymore because I am a mom and will never get these years back. So I stopped worrying about the job front and crisis our state is in and economy, we are all struggling, but let's keep looking ahead at the positives and not worry about that for now!

So yes, I am still looking for a job and hoping to find one so that we can have two incomes, I am just not letting it control me. I am trying to be a better person in the sense of stress at least ;). I leave messes now, small ones, baby steps to leaving messes. I used to walk in and be extremely anal that things were not in their place or out of their order and would instantly start picking things up, putting them away, putting Rhowan's toys in their place, etc. FREAK, right? Well I am slowly trying to let go of that and realize, the house will get out of order and it's going to be ok, you can clean it before you go to bed. ENJOY your moments with Rhowan and relax. So I am trying to get better about that.

My sister and I have started yoga at a local yoga studio. We had our first class on Sunday and it went very well. We started with a basic class, stretching and real calm breathing and balancing. I was sore the next day but felt really relaxed leaving. I felt like my back got stretched so well after having problems with it ever since my bad epidural experience. So we thought we would step it up a notch and do the "all levels" class for a challenge. It was two and a half hours long of deep breathing from your obdela (spelled phonetically, he kept talking about our obdela???) then long, deep stretches, holding positions I never knew my body could do, sweating my freaking butt off. I was so into the class and keeping up with the guy that I couldn't even look over to see how my sister was hanging. I just kept trying to stay "in tune with my zen" and focused, but wanted to laugh at times and think, "am I in a movie?" Anyway, I love it, it is a great work out and relaxing and it gives us both some much needed quiet time. We have been walking as well, I am trying to get rid of these last 10-15 lbs that I have so unacceptingly kept on. However, I am sure Vegas food and drinks, my meals that I can sometimes fit in and snacks I make up for with no meals don't help the cause. Whatever, I am still working on it.

What else? My baby/hubby is coming home next week!!!! SUPER excited to have daddy home. I am strill trying to cross off as many of my never ending to do's during the summer. It is baby proofing time, we are in the process, I feel like it will be any day now that she starts taking those steps on her own. She stands alone without holding onto anything for longer and longer periods of time. She is into everything, but surprisingly listens and understands the word, "no!" She is talking more and more, trying to repeat whatever you tell her to say. She actually tries to say Lexi and Auntie,, me and my sister will say, "Auntie or Lexi" then Rhowan will say it. It's cute. She is just getting so big. Rhowan has done two photo shoots for a lady's clothing line Baby Lulu. She sells her clothes to specialty shops and boutiques. www.babylulu.com She will be in her upcoming catalog, so I am very excited to see the outcome. She does so well, changes through all the different outfits, smiles, does her poses and then she is exhausted. :) It is fun and makes us feel a lil special. :)

Well I know this was all a bit scattered, but welcome to my brain and my world! I guess I should start carrying a pad of paper around for all those moments I think, " I gotta blog about this." Or hey, an even better idea, babe, I know you are reading...an IPAD would be tremendous and solve all these problems! :)

It's my bedtime. Hope you all are doing well and more to catch up on later.