Got Sand?

Alexa being a good little girl on her towel, sportin her Juicy!

So...Everyone, Jen, Nichole, and Nate thought it would be fun to bury Rhowan in sand because I was freaking out a little, ok, well a lot freaking out. I, as you all know, hate messes...that means sandy messes as well. I was seriously doing everything I could to not pick Rhowan up, take her to the shower, wash her off and put some clean clothes on her. But, I am working on my freakish, clean, controlled, and super organized ways, so I let it go. It took a lot of deep breaths, but Rhowan could've cared less about the sand in all her crevices and was having sooo much fun. As my sister put it, from the girl who hated baths as my dad would say, "Heather, when was the last time you took a bath?" as he yelled at me to come inside from playing. The girl who didn't brush her hair, played outside all day, and who's room was a war zone with one trail out the door as my parents requested an emergency exit! LOL. Seriously, how did I all of a sudden not be able to control my freakish ways of not handling disorder where things are out of their place or wanting to clean my towel with every speck of sand that blew on it.

Anyway, Rhowan was having the time of her life. We met The Baca Clan there and Grandma even came for a bit too. And of course, Rhowan's Nanny and personal nurse, Jen. LOL. ;)

It was a good day, Daddy even came for a bit after his recruiting!

Stay at home mommy?!

Hello everyone,
It's been awhile since I've blogged and although I always feel like there is so much to say and update with, there is just not enough hours in the day.
Daddy has been home for almost two weeks, but it has been non stop ever since. We had a great reunion at the airport at 6 am, woke the princess up to see Daddy coming home, we were both dressed in our UCLA shirts and had posters for him to see right as he walked out those doors to baggage claim. Yes, I said UCLA and posters. I was not able to blog it right away, which took a lot of the excitement away, but we were slowly, very slowly, able to share the wonderful news with our family and friends. TJ got word on 4th of July while we were in Alaska that the head coach at UCLA was interested in hiring TJ as his 2nd asst was offered another job. Well, it was 2 years ago on 4th of July that TJ heard from the head coach at UCLA that he didn't get that job, so it was one of those things that we had been hoping for and would be oh so wonderful, but we kept it under wraps because this coaching and baseball world is such a roller coaster of emotions. When I say roller coaster that is probably an understatement. It was a grueling month to hear those words, "Welcome to UCLA, coach Bruce!" Oh my, it was soooo exciting. Screaming exciting, being we shared this wonderful news over the phone while I was in Palm Springs with Ana enjoying my getaway and cold beer at the pool! ;)
Ahhh, finally....TJ/Daddy has done, he has broken through and finally, ALL that hard work has paid off. His true passion is no longer an unreachable dream, but reality. Thank you God. We have been praying for this for 4 years now. We never thought it would be this long for either of us to break through with our careers, but I had prayed and prayed that God puts us in a place that is meant to be for us and our family and future. That when the time was right to please take care of us, I could never have imagined that it would be right here in CA and with the #2 nation baseball team! WHOOO HOOO. Hunny, we are so deeply proud of you, your persistence has paid off, be confident, know that YOU did this and you deserve it. You are going to be amazing and we will be there all the way to support you 100 percent. This will come at a very big cost, it will be a grind, but as a family we will get through it. That commute to LA, the hours, the recruiting, working for the biggest workhorse in college baseball, the commitment, and the stress of having to prove yourself with your first paid asst job. It will be tough, but success comes at a very big price and it will all be worth it. I wouldn't have it any other way for you to be doing what you love.
And not to mention, with this we are faced with big decisions of me going to work full time, not to work, work part time, ride out this subbing deal, etc. ????? With TJ's hours and schedule it will be hard to work and have Rhowan in daycare and doing a lot on my own with the homefront and with Rhowan. So, its just a lot to think about. Right now I need to see where this puts us financially and am just riding it out. We are so incredibly blessed to have benefits and insurance as a family, its a HUGE stress relief!!!
With all this, being home for the summer has allowed me to be that stay at home mommy I've wanted to be since Rhowan was born. Well, now I am really feeling like maybe I am not cut out for this. Please, don't get me wrong. I love not working, I love being home with Rhowan, but I have seriously created a monster! Yes, I know you don't believe me because Rhowan is a princess for everyone, however when she sees mommy, all bets are off!!! She is so needy with ME. Why is it only with me?! She is "HM" (high maintenance) baby. She is very clingy, connected to my hip lately. I am hoping it's a stage. Which the book I briefly read in the bookstore for the five minutes Rhowan allowed me to read for, said this, that she is learning object permanence, when I am not there she gets separation anxiety, not knowing when I will return and that she is a separate being from me. So, here is the problem. I get NOTHING done all day, so the only way to stay sane is, get out of the house for the day by noon. She won't nap here, so she naps in her stroller on our daily walks on 2nd along the bay and 2nd street. She won't let me shower, so what the hell, I bring her in with me because I can't take the 15 min of her non stop, hysteric crying while I shower. Then there is the middle of the night bottle between 1 and 3 am that she wakes for. Well, while daddy was gone she took that bottle in bed next to mommy and good night we both would go until 8 or 9 am. Hmmmm, a bad habit I created that I thought she would no big deal go right back into her own crib. So that middle of the night bottle now, I went back to giving on the couch, she is out, I put back in the crib=wide awake, crying. What, so I pick her up and put back to sleep and try again. Well, we tried this for 2 hours one night. Let's just say, I then was ready for cry it out, but daddy was NOT. So...how do I say this...she always ends up in our bed and one of us ends up on the couch. NOW WHAT? It is making me go crazy. What have I done? Why did I do this? What do I do now? Cry it out? I can't take that. But I can't take her showering, shitting and sleeping with me either. I love her, but come on, really?! I need some "me" time. Some sanity. I am going to be the worlds worst stay at home mommy ever. All the bragging I used to do about what an easy baby she was and how happy she is...well here is my pay back. I am literally chomping on my own words about the easy part. Yes, she is a great baby and for the most part, no real complaints. But I gotta get a better thing going. She goes down for the night in her crib, why won't she stay in it???!!!
Well that's all I got for right now, wayyyy more to talk about and catch up on, but to be honest, it's bed time.
love you all. Thank you everyone for the prayers, well wishes, love and support. It has finally paid off and this has truly been our year of blessings!

xoxoxo,
The Bruce's

Mommy time!

I just had my first whole weekend to myself since our lil princess has been born. It was harder than I thought it would be, however easier to enjoy myself than I thought. Does that make sense? I wasn't sure that I'd be able to handle two nights without seeing or being with Rhowan. The longest I've been away from her was one night at my moms or TJ's moms house. I needed a mini vaca/break. We have been back from Alaska for almost a month and its been mommy non stop. Don't get me wrong, I have had tons of help and been blessed with everyone being so in love with our princess that they come around to go places with us, help me, visit, etc. It is so nice to have both parents live so close by, my sister and the kids home all summer, and believe me, I take full advantage. We have kept very busy as you could see on the previous posts. I just wanted some down time, a break, 5 hours of un interrupted sleep, and some sun! So Ana and I thought what better time to go to her parents condo in Palm Springs. It is free, close by and we always have such a good time. She went up Friday after work and I was going to meet her there. Grandma/my MIL came to pick up Rhowan on Friday after surprising me and coming over so that I could go get a pedicure and offering to take Rhowan so that I could leave early Saturday morning. I didn't hesitate, I packed Rhowan's bag and helped her out to the car. Then I felt a flood of guilt, selfishness and like a horrible mom for sending her off just so I could have a weekend of mommy alone time. I was about a tear away from a breakdown when my MIL looks at me and says, "Are you ok? I want to take her, I love having her, have a fabulous weekend and enjoy." ahhhh, ok, don't twist my arm. I just felt so awful, like why do you need a break Heather, you don't work! Will Rhowan think I just left her? I started getting freakish again like I was in the beginning where I freaked about every little thing I did and second guessed everything I did as a mom. I just want to be the best possible mom I can be. Well Rhowan was happy as a clam in her car seat of grandma's car and off they went. :) Jen was here and kept pep talking me that I need me time, it keeps every mom sane, so enjoy and don't feel bad. So once I had a glass of wine and relaxed a bit, I was good! :)
My sister and Jen came over for some wine and a movie then off I went to Palm Springs first thing in the morning. I always love going to palm springs at the condo, it is such a low key weekend of hanging out at the pool, we have a no make up or doing hair rule, and we grocery shop and rent movies.
So I get there about 10:15 am and the first beer gets cracked open at 10:30! Yep, just like the good ol days! We headed straight for the pool and drank our beers in our floaties, reading magazines ( I actually got to catch up on all my magazines), catching up and talking cause I haven't seen Ana in weeks, went in for lunch then finally after 6 pm went inside to shower, make dinner and have some wine.
It was such a wonderful and much needed weekend. I needed it and loved it. I feel re energized and am soooo excited for Daddy to come home! Getting the girl time/talk with my bff then getting 7 plus hours of sleep and laying out by the pool...what more could you ask for? I am blessed! Rhowan was such a good girl as always, loved shopping all weekend with Grandma and sleeping in her bed that feels like a heavenly cloud :) lol...she is truly spoiled, but we wouldn't have it any other way. I was so excited driving home to see her, I could hardly contain the butterflies in my tummy. I missed her so much and was proud of myself for learning to balance. Some good friends of ours gave us very good advice after Rhowan was born. To make our children a part of our world, not our entire world. Don't get me wrong, Rhowan is our everything and my world, but I don't want to lose myself and who I am, I want to be me, a wife, friend, daughter, sister, and mom!
Anyway, great weekend, thank you Mil/Grandma and Grandpa for watching the princess and Ana for a much needed weekend.
Now, just less than 72 hours until daddy gets home! YAHOO!!!!!

A Whole LOT of nothin...

I swear, every day as I am showering or driving (my quiet time and reflection times these days), I think, "I need to blog about this...I need to update this...I need to write about this..." then the day goes on, gets away from me, I forget and bam...the moment is GONE! Story of my life, but wouldn't change it for the world.

I absolutely love being at home with Rhowan and not having to work. Yes, it is a lot of work, but it is so much fun. The teething makes it challenging at times, but I wouldn't change it for anything. This is my first summer not working since junior year of high school, so I have just been enjoying. The other day she woke from a nap, hysterical might I add because I was in the shower while she woke up, and I sat there, holding her, on our bed, in my towel, with her cuddling up next to me, just taking it in, the times where she will just lay there and stare at me, not trying to get away to crawl, put something in her mouth, etc. are rare these days, so I had to take full advantage. I had a full on conversation with her, cried, reflected, made promises of the mom I hope to be and want to be for her and just loved it. Ok, so I am a bit crazy, well a lot crazy, but I just love being a mom, I feel like it is my true calling. Yes, I have always wanted to be a teacher, but I, for the first time in a loooong time, feel totally complete, minus the frustration of not being able to find a job that I have been so passionate about and have dreamt of, I don't even focus on that anymore because I am a mom and will never get these years back. So I stopped worrying about the job front and crisis our state is in and economy, we are all struggling, but let's keep looking ahead at the positives and not worry about that for now!

So yes, I am still looking for a job and hoping to find one so that we can have two incomes, I am just not letting it control me. I am trying to be a better person in the sense of stress at least ;). I leave messes now, small ones, baby steps to leaving messes. I used to walk in and be extremely anal that things were not in their place or out of their order and would instantly start picking things up, putting them away, putting Rhowan's toys in their place, etc. FREAK, right? Well I am slowly trying to let go of that and realize, the house will get out of order and it's going to be ok, you can clean it before you go to bed. ENJOY your moments with Rhowan and relax. So I am trying to get better about that.

My sister and I have started yoga at a local yoga studio. We had our first class on Sunday and it went very well. We started with a basic class, stretching and real calm breathing and balancing. I was sore the next day but felt really relaxed leaving. I felt like my back got stretched so well after having problems with it ever since my bad epidural experience. So we thought we would step it up a notch and do the "all levels" class for a challenge. It was two and a half hours long of deep breathing from your obdela (spelled phonetically, he kept talking about our obdela???) then long, deep stretches, holding positions I never knew my body could do, sweating my freaking butt off. I was so into the class and keeping up with the guy that I couldn't even look over to see how my sister was hanging. I just kept trying to stay "in tune with my zen" and focused, but wanted to laugh at times and think, "am I in a movie?" Anyway, I love it, it is a great work out and relaxing and it gives us both some much needed quiet time. We have been walking as well, I am trying to get rid of these last 10-15 lbs that I have so unacceptingly kept on. However, I am sure Vegas food and drinks, my meals that I can sometimes fit in and snacks I make up for with no meals don't help the cause. Whatever, I am still working on it.

What else? My baby/hubby is coming home next week!!!! SUPER excited to have daddy home. I am strill trying to cross off as many of my never ending to do's during the summer. It is baby proofing time, we are in the process, I feel like it will be any day now that she starts taking those steps on her own. She stands alone without holding onto anything for longer and longer periods of time. She is into everything, but surprisingly listens and understands the word, "no!" She is talking more and more, trying to repeat whatever you tell her to say. She actually tries to say Lexi and Auntie,, me and my sister will say, "Auntie or Lexi" then Rhowan will say it. It's cute. She is just getting so big. Rhowan has done two photo shoots for a lady's clothing line Baby Lulu. She sells her clothes to specialty shops and boutiques. www.babylulu.com She will be in her upcoming catalog, so I am very excited to see the outcome. She does so well, changes through all the different outfits, smiles, does her poses and then she is exhausted. :) It is fun and makes us feel a lil special. :)

Well I know this was all a bit scattered, but welcome to my brain and my world! I guess I should start carrying a pad of paper around for all those moments I think, " I gotta blog about this." Or hey, an even better idea, babe, I know you are reading...an IPAD would be tremendous and solve all these problems! :)

It's my bedtime. Hope you all are doing well and more to catch up on later.

Rhowan's 9 month check up

Can you believe our lil princess is nine months as of yesterday?! Wow, where does the time go? I get so sad as she gets bigger and cry with every milestone, however as she is coming into her own lil personality and getting bigger, it is getting more fun. She is at an age that she just loves to interact with people, especially little kids and babies. She gets so excited. We'll be walking in a stroller and she will see another baby or kid and go crazy, squealing, kicking her feet and getting so excited that she can't even contain herself. Ahh, the simple things in life that make her happy!

Our princess had a Dr appt yesterday, only one shot to be given, yay! She was a good girl at the Dr, our first appt where mommy had to put her big girl panties and go alone with her...yes, my big girl panties, I hate doing things like that alone!
Rhowan weighed in at 20 lbs and 7 oz. she is in the 75th percentile for weight. She is 29 1/2 inches tall in the 95 th percentile. She is almost off her chart for height, she hit a huge growth spurt from her last appt at six months. She was a good girl, a busy girl. The Dr was probably thinking, control your baby lady, as Rhowan was crawling all over the office, under the table, pushing chairs, etc. I just continued talking and continued to pick her up, let her scream, put her down, all while talking with my 101 questions. But hey doc, my daughter is a crawling machine and there is NO holding her back! lol.
The Dr said she looked and sounded great. Her gums are swollen all the way around, so teething in more areas then one. She is a little "advanced" in her gross and fine motor skills and an early crawler. The Dr was very excited to see her babbling so much, waving bye and hi, saying "momma" and "uh oh" every time she would throw something down on the ground, her favorite game, as is with most babies.
So, I know I have created a monster by rocking Rhowan to sleep for naps and bedtime...I knew that all alone but it was something I started while nursing and just loved having that time with her and never stopped it. Now, the rocking is turning to full on bouncing, walking, pacing and humming full force to get her to fall asleep...unless, she has had a very busy day then she knocks out. Like tonight for example, she crawled her little booty around all day, had two play dates, went with mommy grocery shopping and took a bath and bottle and was OUT! Yes, that's what I love. So, the Dr didn't stress it too much, she said, do what my comfort level is, it will take time, but I should start putting her down half asleep and letting her put herself to sleep. hmmm, yeah sounds all great when you say it doc, but not gonna happen. Oh am I in a world of hurt when baby number 2 comes. Whatever, I don't even care, I love my baby girl and in 18 years she will NOT want to cuddle with me...it will be slamming doors, attitudes and maybe a few choice words in there, so I am taking advantage people. :) LOL.
So back to my update. It is time to start Rhowan on 3 meals a day and more nutritious foods. I have raised thus far quite the picky baby...warm bottles to a certain temp or forget about it, she will NOT take a bottle and you are in a world of tears my friend. Well she only likes, plain bland ol oatmeal with not enough nutrients that she needs. The Dr says, oatmeal once a day and its time to bring in more foods (which I knew already, I've been reading up on ideas and knew after all our travels I would start.) I tried the whole jarred food thing while in Alaska, but after mommy's yummy homemade food, she pretty much shook her head no so hard that I got the point. Are you saying diva yet? Would you expect anything less? Why would she want fake tasting, processed food after bland, healthy, homemade food?! lol. So we are starting on that. I will update you on how that is going later, stay tuned.

Since we've been home from Alaska, we went to Vegas and now its time for all the laundry all over again and can finally get settled being at home. I have quite the lil traveler on my hands and am so happy I took every ones advice, stopped being so frantic and anal and started her early getting used to being off her typical schedule. I have learned that she will adjust, structure and routine is good, but she will get back on it, so getting off it won't kill her. I am hoping I don't eat my words in a week if she hasn't gotten back on her schedule after all this being on the go.

Rhowan is pulling herself up on everything, standing on her own, wanting to take those steps but only goes as far as her hands can hold on walking along furniture, waving bye and hi, saying momma, uh oh, shakes her head no, laughs and smiles like crazy, eats good, grabs anything she can get her hands on, so much fun! I just love being home with her, teaching her, spending time with her and loving her. I am taking it all in and enjoying each moment for what it is. The house to do's, my own personal to do's can all wait. Yep, I said it, it can wait! Aren't you proud of me?! I am even getting better and not cleaning up her toys the very second she is done with them and leaving them there or leaving a bottle in the sink to wash for later. I know right, big freakin deal!

I will post updated pics and updates on our summer adventures later.

Talk to you all soon.

Lots of hugs and kisses your way.

Leaving Alaska...

It was sooooo incredibly hard to leave TJ/Daddy in Alaska. He begged for us to stay with him until August and I felt absolutely terrible for not planning to. I just felt like there was so much to do and take care of at home, I felt unsettled. But then, I felt like I was ripping our family apart and all TJ kept telling me, was that as long as we were all together who cares about anything else. Well yes, true, however, we all know what a stress case I can be and I just couldn't do that. I knew I'd be lonely when he was at the field and Grandma could only stay for so long to do things with us and venture out with us while Daddy was at baseball. We pretty much cried in the airport before going through security and then I cried all the way through security. I am sure people were staring at me like what is this woman's problem, but I didn't care! Thank goodness for Grandma being there because she pretty much put all our stuff in bins, 9 to be exact, that is how much crap we had, while I stood there crying and doing nothing to help her! :(

I just felt awful, torn, sad, and already missing TJ like crazy.

However, looking back at all our pics now, the ones I posted are seriously just a few glimpses, I am so happy that we were able to go, make a vacation out of part of it and see and do so much. We really did do a lot and I grew to love Alaska. It is a beautiful state, with so much nature, friendly people, no sales tax :), and just an awesome place. It reminded me of our childhood camping days, traveling the states with my parents, it reminded me of being in Europe with the weather and all the green around you. It was just a great trip. I wish the sun came out more that last week and a half we were there, but we made the best of the weather and didn't let it stop us!

We can't wait for daddy to get home, but we are so proud of him and what he is doing. Everyone loves him out there and the locals of the team were all begging us to move there! :)

Keep following your heart babe, you are an amazing dad, husband and coach and have truly learned how to balance it all. I was so proud sitting at the games each day watching you coach.

We have been home almost a week, and lil miss Rhowan's sleeping schedule is still all out of whack. You'd be surprised how much daylight 24 hours of the day really throws you off. Even though its only an hour behind our time here at home, we all got totally messed up. Rhowan some nights goes down by 9 now that we are home and does pretty well, but sleeping in til like 11 am, yes, 11 am, can you believe that. However, other nights she is wide awake past midnight, ready to play, take baths, etc. Not to mention she is teething and I think ready to cut her top two teeth, so that hasn't helped the sleeping cause much, but we are dealing. I am for now, letting her just get as much sleep as she needs and will worry about a bed time later, she is still good with her routine, its just the times that are way off, but I figure as long as she is getting her ten plus hours a night, which she is doing about 10-14 hours, then all is good! I am not working this summer, so we will adjust slowly back into it and let her get back on track on her time for awhile.

Well now that we are home, we are getting ready for a weekend Vegas trip for Auntie Kate's 21st! Then its time for park days, beach days, and some fun in the sun at home for the rest of the summer. Oh and the 101 things to do on my never ending list that I'd like to accomplish this summer, but hey, enjoy each moment I have at home with Rhowan is number 1 on that priority list!

Keep the prayers coming for TJ to get a coaching job when he gets home and a job for me would be great too! We love and miss you all and hope you've enjoyed our Alaska pictures and updates.

Love,

The Bruce's

And our final day in Alaska...

We found a favorite restraunt while being there, Humpy's. They had the best Halibut fish and chips and bloody mary's. We had our last lunch there after our flight tour.

Rhowan was only awake for the take off and landing, she knocked out during the entire flight tour!

Our take off...

TJ as co pilot...and a nervous wreck, but lookin good as always babe!

Mommy, Grandma and Rhowan in the back, ready for our take off! We got to experience such beautiful views, more glaciers, we saw moose roaming, no bears, but that's ok. They even did a landing right next to a glacier, so we could take some pictures. This was a fun experience, also on the top things we did while there.